In this day and age, just about everyone has a smartphone. We use it to talk, work, shop and learn. But at other times, our phones demand too much of our attention. Have you ever looked at your phone when someone was talking to you? Or scrolled through social media in the presence of of friends or family? That’s known as phubbing, a portmanteau of phone and snubbing. It means you are paying more attention to your phone than to the people around you.

Phubbing doesn’t sound like such a big deal at first. But it can also gradually damage your relationships, decrease your happiness and make people feel unimportant. The good news is that you can quit phubbing and piece together real, meaningful relationships with just a few alterations.

What Is Phubbing?

Phubbing: When you’d rather be on your phone than talk to someone. It can occur at the dinner table, or while at work or in class, or even during family time. So, for instance, if your friend is opening up to you and you pull out your phone and stare at it, guess what? You’re phubbing them.

The vast majority of people who engage in it aren’t even clear about doing so. It’s a reflex for many of us. We’re constantly getting pings and beeps, messages and notifications reminding us that we should check our phones. Yet clearing a space for oneself in this continuum of distraction is necessary to forge deep connections with others, and that is difficult.

How Phubbing Affects Relationships

The damage phubbing does to relationships can be more hazardous than we think. It pushes people away, weakens emotional connections and tends to make people feel like they are being ignored. Here’s how it affects our day-to-day.

It Weakens Emotional Connections

When you check your phone instead of someone’s face, you miss the opportunity to share real feelings. Gradually this causes our relationships to feel cold and distant. The person you ignore could begin to wonder if you really care about him.

It Increases Loneliness

Phones are designed to bring us together, but when we spend too much time with them, we become lonelier. What should be a time to talk with the people around us becomes scrolling through screens that offer only fleeting comfort.

It Reduces Communication Quality

When you’re distracted, we talk less and the conversation is more superficial. You could lose some subtle nuance or mishear what someone is saying. This will result in confusion or even conflict.

It Creates Stress

Phubbing isn’t just bad for other people — it can be stressful for you, too. You could feel guilty afterward for not having acknowledged someone you care about. This emotional pressure can have an impact on your mood and tranquility.

Why Do People Phub?

There are a lot of reasons people phub, and they often don’t realize that they’re doing it. Sometimes we also feel anxious when we don’t look at our phones. Sometimes we’re just bored and looking for some quick entertainment. Social media and notifications are built to attract our attention — and they’re excellent at it.

Every time your phone beeps, a little bit of dopamine, the feel-good chemical, is ejected into your brain. It makes that glance at your phone feel more rewarding, even when it gets in the way of real-world moments.

Simple Ways to Stop Phubbing

You don’t need to jettison your phone wholesale to reduce phubbing. You only need to use it mindfully. Here are some basic actions to help you be more present and connect with people around you:

Create Phone-Free Times

Choose when and where you won’t use your phone — for example, during meals, family time or before bed. These little breaks keep you grounded in actual conversations.

Turn Off Unnecessary Notifications

You don’t have to see everything that an app or account throws your way. Disable notifications for apps that are not priority. This on the other hand, also helps curb that incessant urge to check your phone.

When you do talk to someone, put your phone away

When someone is speaking with you, phone face down, or out of reach. Give them your full attention. Careful listening demonstrates respect and consideration.

Use Apps to Limit Screen Time

Telephones and Hot Dogs — Annie Mavrich 3.13.2020 Many phones contain features that monitor the amount of time you use apps. Use these tools to establish daily limits and remind yourself to step away.

Encourage Others to Join You

Share the values of cutting back on phone use with your friends and family. Create “no phone” rules while together, or during dinners. With everyone playing, it‘s also easier to maintain the focus on each other.

Benefits of Reducing Phubbing

And once you curtail phubbing, you’ll see all sorts of positive shifts in your life and relationships.

• Improved Relationships: Trust is built as people feel heard, valued and appreciated.
• A Clearer Head: Studies have shown that cutting back on screen time can decrease anxiety and increase focus.
• More Laughing: Real laughs with real people, not digital voices and never ending interruptions.

Improved expertise of self- Being more present you can become more in-tune with your own feeling and those around you.

Get back in touch with the folks around you

Phubbing may feel like a fact of life now, but it doesn’t have to rule your life. You can do something about it. So put your phone away and concentrate on the people in front of you that’s the only way to restore real connections, and fill your life with more authentic experiences.

When you are with family or friends, make eye contact rather than staring at your screen. Listen to their stories. Laugh together. Moments like these are what make life full and lovely. The internet isn’t going anywhere — but the people in your life require you to be present and give them your attention now.

Final Thought:

Every time you put down your phone, or turn off notifications, and give your full attention to a real human being — when instead of opting for easy convenience you go deeper into relationships — you are making yourself stronger in life. Little things — tucking away your phone when you’re with someone, setting aside time to meet face-to-face — can make big differences. Start today. Quit phubbing and take the time to reconnect with those who matter most.